Ami Shroyer: Coping with Grief and Loss

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We all know that human beings are mortal beings, and some come and go. According to Elisabeth K?bler-Ross, there are five stages of death and dying for those in grief which include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. A person grieving may report more stages, while others may not experience all stages mentioned here, it is because grief is subjective and nature, and it is a unique experience. Denial helps an individual to survive the tragic event of losing someone, and this stage involves a feeling of emptiness, overwhelming, and meaningless feeling. There is actually grace in denial because this is how we compensate for our loss, letting and allowing in only as much as we can deal with. Denial will start to fade once you start to feel the real emotions and thoughts of your loss, but you become stronger in facing reality.

The second stage of the healing process when grieving is anger. You can display your anger by crying or shouting on the top of your lungs to release the pain and tension that were built when you were in the denial stage, but be careful being violent because you may harm yourself and other people. Some people blame other people for the loss of their loved ones such as doctors, family, friends, relatives, and even God. We are living in a society that fears anger, so we feel deserted, alone and abandoned. Anger can be your anchor to a stronger structure, making a connection from the emptiness of the denial stage to becoming more aware of what is happening around you, so you may show anger to the doctor who last attended your loved one in the hospital or to a relative who did not attend the funeral. The intensity of anger also reflects the intensity of love to the departed loved one. The bargaining stage involves willingness to give up something just for a loved one’s life to be restored, and this is most especially true for those who are dying. There are many “what if” statements in the bargaining stage and this stage may last for weeks or months, and the person may blame himself for his loved one’s death. You feel that negotiation is possible, and you keep thinking the things you could have done for your loved one. Learn about essential oils here!

After the anger and bargaining, you enter the depressive stage, wherein reality is in front of your face and you cannot do anything but be sad and cry for your loss. While there are people who get too depressed, this is not a sign of mental illness, it is a normal response to a great loss. A person may retract completely from his social circle in the depressive stage, but as soon as he talks about it and begins to socialize again, a grieving person starts to enter the acceptance stage. Know about dealing with grief here!

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